A story on the theme of body image and relationships, Mirror Mirror shows the protagonist consumed by self hate in front of the mirror. She speaks with her own reflection, unravelling her turmoil in an attempt to come to some sort of conclusion about her life: should she continue in her dependent, self-destructive ways?
Posting on Women’s Web – my experience
Your post titled Mirror, Mirror, I Deserve A Life; I’m Going To Find It! has been published today on Women’s Web as a Featured Post. Featured Posts are a careful selection of highly relevant and interesting posts picked by our editors each day. Thank you for sharing your voice with our community, and here’s wishing for more power to your pen!
Confirmation email from Women’s Web
I’ve had a great experience writing for Women’s Web and would definitely recommend contributing to their site. They feature work not only in fiction but a variety of categories. They’ve published my book review on Forty Rules of Love and cover a lot of interesting and relevant women’s topics.
#1 Focus on the Small Decisions for Long Term Gain
Learning something new starts with the decision to learn it. But it doesn’t end with those big decisions, like signing up for a piano class. What really matters once we choose to learn something, is the string of little daily decisions we must make, like: getting off the couch, getting yourself ready for that piano class and getting into the car. Nowadays, it’s easy to start something or make the ‘big’ decisions, because we’re excited about learning something new. But the real learning begins when, each and every day, you take those little steps which make it a routine over months and years.
In his TEDx talk, How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals, Stephen Duneier explains the tactic he used to accomplish every big goal he set himself, whether it was acing college, learning a new language or setting a new Guinness World Record. And he reminds us that we can do it too – because the tactic he uses isn’t out-of-this-world-crazy. It’s making incremental improvements on the micro level, what he calls ‘marginal adjustment’. He starts with the easiest, tiniest action and keeps it up as much as possible each day. It might be ten minutes now, and then ten minutes again – the point is to keep it going daily, so that there is progress and momentum building.
#2 Learn Better through Deconstruction
Tim Ferriss, author of the Four Hour Work Week, argues that learning a new skill might be easier, quicker and more pain-free than we think if only we learn to ‘crack the code’ – or deconstruct it. In this talk, he shares his proven method of mastering any skill, condensed in the acronym DiSSS: Deconstruction, identify, Selection, Sequencing, Stakes.
To summarize, mastering any skill requires you to 1) deconstruct the skill and identify and address hazardous areas ie. that will likely cause you to fail. 2) Selection is about isolating any one aspect of the skill and mastering that. For example, cooking involves many things from grocery shopping to working with different tools, so don’t attack all at once but set aside one aspect, such as paring vegetables and just work on that for awhile. 3) Sequencing involves questioning best practices and choosing what to start with. Ferriss gives the example of language learning, where he selected the typical grammar structure in a language and applied it to one sentence, in all 12 or 13 variations, helping him grasp the concept as it is presented in different sentence structures, giving him a model for constructing other sentences. 4) Finally, stakes maintain accountability and motivation. If there’s nothing to hold you accountable or provide incentive in learning something new, it’s hard to stick to and accomplish your goals.
#3 Learning through the Imagination (Visualization)
We’ve all heard that ‘imagination is more important than knowledge’ (Einstein). How, then, can we apply imagination to our learning? One fun and easy way is through ‘design thinking’, where you put forward a question, goal or issue and try to come up with as many ideas and possible solutions as you can in a limited 10-minute session. It’s a brainstorming step where you allow yourself to be as wildly creative as you can in your ideas. More often than not, when you allow yourself to be a creative thinker, you will come up with workable and novel answers.
Another way to use your imagination is visualization. When working with any subject or topic, you can visualize it vividly in image, colour, pattern, shapes or movements to work it out – you might be surprised by the results! I sometimes used this as a student, visualizing a choreography or poem with my questions just before going to bed and sometimes finding an answer the next morning. You could also create a visualization board or collage, to pictorially work out a difficult question, problem or learning roadblock.
#4 Imitate / Emulate what you Aspire Towards
Imitation has a special place in Waldorf education with young children, but it is also an excellent way to learn and deepen in any field as an adult. I’ve heard of authors trying to pick apart and study sentences of their favourite writers to bring more of it in their own writing; graphics or design students often look for inspiration in others’ work and aim to match their favoured aesthetic in their creations. You need to try on others’ shoes as a learning exercise until your own style and work emerges. Imitation is a good way of breaking into and learning about the field, improving your craft and eventually discovering your own, polished-and-informed voice.
#5 Mind Map your way to Comprehension
Mind mapping, by Tony Buzan, embraces the quick, spontaneous and associative nature of our brain and how it really works. Mind maps help us bring our thoughts on to paper the way they appear in our minds. Starting from the centre, the main idea, we branch out into more and more specific details related to the main idea and connect them with other ideas. Using colour coding, diagrams, sketches and symbols, this method can aid the learning of any topic, accompanying the essay writing process, structuring presentations, note-taking from a textbook, or contributing to learning a new skill. Learning to mind map will help you break things down and condense complicated subjects or thick books, making them easier to digest.
#6 Review in Reverse for Memorisation
The review exercises bring the experiences of our daily lives to full awareness. By directing our attentive gaze to what has happened – whether in a single day or in whole phases of life – we kindle light in our will. Undertaking such a review backwards, in reverse sequence, or from an ‘external perspective’, requires a huge inner effort as we establish distance between ourselves and our daily experiences.
Book: Strengthening the Will, review exercises by Rudolf Steiner
The backward review is an exercise for the end of the day, which helps us to settle our inner life, like a meditation. The backward review can also be a healthy and useful tool in learning, when, at the end of the day or with regard to the previous day’s class, you think backwards on experiences or a lecture or a process. Again, this is something that can be effective when done before going to bed and works wonders for the memory. A simple example would be going over the alphabet in reverse. It’s applicable to anything sequential you wish to remember.
#7 Get to Grips with your Topic via Essay Writing
Understanding and conslidated learning comes from writing and research and simply thinking through a subject carefully and deeply. That’s why courses assign essays, because it’s the best way to tell what a student knows or thinks about a topic. Whether they’re lengthy or short, essays get you to confront your ideas on a given topic and helps gauge where you are on your learning journey, and determine which direction to take it in.
An essay in its skeletal form is the introduction, supporting body paragraphs and conclusion. Try to write an essay on a topic or issue you want to learn or understand more about. It needn’t be very long or complicated or even academic. What matters is that you explore your thoughts, try to articulate them and broaden your mind through research.
#8 Discussion: bring it to the table
Find a friend or colleague with whom you can discuss something you want to learn or know more about. This could look like a meet up over coffee to discuss your project, book, assignment or task. Or it could be a group meet up that’s happening in your neighbourhood, like a book club or interactive workshop. Finding ways of talking about your subject with others will enable you to grow, learn and deepen your relationships – with the subject, and with people who are connected to it.
Explore relevant issues, share resources and problem solve, making the meeting productive, contributing to a better and fresher understanding of your interest.
#9 Embody your Subject (not just for kinesthetic learners!)
We all have different learning styles, but somehow, movement and dance can be a great way to memorise long passages of anything and make sense of something in an embodied way. If you can break it up and bring rhythm to it through clapping, stepping, jumping, throwing a frisbee back and forth, movement can be a great tool for getting something ‘in’ you. I remember preparing a twenty minute demonstration talk which involved memorizing pages of words as well as presenting movement demos. I could get it done in no other way than talking it, walking it, enacting it and placing myself in different parts of the room to differentiate different points covered in my paper. The same works well for learning long poems, stories, charts or lists -map it out in space, use your body, move it, dance it, play it.
#10 Learning through Story
Story is a broad tool that can be in visual, oral, moving or written form. No matter which you use, a narrative that breaks down simply as beginning, middle and end, can be a powerful way of learning a variety of topics.
To use story, ask yourself: can I convert this concept or chapter into character, setting, plot? Can I express this in a well-contained and detailed, descriptive story to make what I’m learning memorable? Online videos are a good example of how subjects are transformed through the storytelling medium whether animated or not, and delivered in digestible and engaging ways within a short period of time. Speakers of twenty minute (or more) talks often use anecdotes and stories to get their points and examples across in effective and enriching ways to their audience. Stories make the subject matter and learning more interesting, human and accessible.
Tools to try out: storyboard, short story or narrative, storytelling, news story.
If you’ve always wanted to become a pro writer or start writing more consistently, there’s no better time than the present to begin!
I hope you find the information below useful in starting your own journey in writing, whether you dream of writing fiction, non-fiction or both.
No. 1: Mindset (practice non-judgement)
Mindset is probably the easiest to overlook when you’re trying to embark on a creative project or path. It’s quite normal to think about things like time or inspiration as the most important, but I’ve learned time and time again that it all boils down to attitude.
Finding Enough Time:
I realised that I did’t need a whole day to write. I just needed three hours a week for a 70,000 word novel draft: over half a year, the pages accumulate. Last year, I was teaching artistic movement classes for adults and also learning different things. I still managed an hour-a-week creative writing mentorship session and a few hours a week for building up my collection of short stories.
In short, mindset plays a huge part in whether you’re going to be productive or not. Remind yourself that if writing is important to you, you will find the time for it somehow!
Tips for Mindset:
Create affirmations and speak them aloud. Something like: ‘I am a brilliant, prolific writer’ or ‘I allow myself to write what is living inside me.’
Tailor your affirmations to the fears or resistance that get in the way of your writing practice.
Consciously changing negative self-talk to positive self-talk will open doors to greater productivity, because you learn to trust the voice that says ‘you can do it. You deserve time for your creativity,’ rather than ‘you don’t have the time/talent/energy to do it.’
That can take a lot of the load off your shoulders. If you write something, anything, your job is done. Have the mindset that it doesn’t have to come out perfect and you will lovingly accept anything that comes out. Writing practice is not just about developing the skills of the craft but it is equally about developing compassion, patience, curiosity and non-judgement.
You don’t have to be original. You don’t have to be smart. You just have to be you – and that changes every moment!
No. 2: Set up to do the work (and play!)
Visualize the kind of writing space you would love to have and then arrange something that resembles it.
To be productive as a writer (or any artist), it is essential to have a space and time carved out just for the work. There needs to be a receptive space that is ‘yours’. It could be a desk, a designated room or somewhere in the corner of the house.
Set it up with your laptop, notebooks, folders, pens, books, chargers, as well as something to inspire you: a vase of flowers, some incense or a colourful painting – anything you feel drawn to.
Next, try to think about a time of day that suits you, that you will most likely be in the mood to write. Be realistic. If you’re not an early bird, choose the afternoon or even late at night. Pick a time of day and aim for just half an hour a day or three hours a week to start off with. Even if it doesn’t always happen consistently in the beginning, don’t beat yourself up, just keep trying! Eventually your practice will catch up with the goals you set yourself.
No. 3: Writing Tools and Exercises (building writing muscle)
When you sit down to write, it’s always a good idea to be working on a specific task. When starting a new project, do fifteen minutes of warm-up exercises. There are many writing prompts and exercises on the internet. Gather these into a word document or notebook and pick from it when you sit down to write. Then, carry on with your project work, ie. story, novel, essay.
I would recommend having some sort of mentor, whether its a writer friend you check in with once a week, a writing mentor, an editor, or even an online course where you have the chance to share your works-in-progress for feedback to peers – it keeps you growing in your work rather than working in total isolation.
Tip: to keep your creative juices flowing, start a writer’s journal going – this is where you can collect ideas, character backstories, plot developments, odds and ends, inspiring phrases and other useful notes.
Never try to force your writing! And never, ever worry about grammar or structure. There are many free softwares to take care of basic grammar and spelling and you can always get an editor further along the process to help with all the finishing, tidying and polishing of your work!
Form personalised affirmations to overcome mental blocks
Visualize and set up your very own writing space
Create a schedule (and do your best to stick to it)
Collect writing prompts and exercises to build writing muscle
Team up with a mentor, friend or join an online course for regular feedback
Start a writer’s journal
Writers online groups and forums: mentor, critiques, or beta reader
Hobbies are an important aspect of life, in fact, an essential part of life. It’s easy to get so involved with work, drawn into social media feeds and busy with chores that we forget to do the things that are just for us. Things that make us light-hearted, joyful, calm and also heal and nurture us. Hobbies are a form of self-care, because we can express ourselves, unwind, slow down and return to our work refreshed and more focussed.
Below are four benefits of watercolours as a hobby, which I have come to appreciate over the many years of painting and sketching with them.
1) It isn’t Time-Consuming (fits easily into your day)
It doesn’t take long to practice or learn a hobby like watercolours. It takes less time and is easier to learn the basics, than, say a sport or learning a musical instrument.
It doesn’t have to take more than a five-minute sketch to add a spark to your day. Watercolours dry fast, especially when using less water such as the wet-on-dry method. They dry much faster than thick oils or saturated poster paints.
Set anywhere between 5 minutes to 1 hour daily to feel the immediate benefits. Use chunks of time during holidays, weekends or spare hours to indulge yourself and dive deeper. Tip: If you feel you have no time at all, try to notice what you spend time on throughout your waking hours and analyze for yourself: could you use the early mornings for this hobby? Could you cut down on social media or reading the newspaper? Where can you carve out just a little space and time for yourself?
2) A Special Form of Self-Care (learn skills & connect with yourself)
I have found watercolours to be the best way to unwind and relax. There is something about the delicacy of water and light, and the softness of the pure, brilliant hues that really nurture me through my senses. Especially with the more light, pastel shades that glow on the page. It’s extremely satisfying to paint with the medium.
It isn’t surprising then, with all these nurturing qualities, that watercolours are also used in Art Therapy, a form of non-verbal therapy that has been very effective in dealing with a spectrum of issues, sometimes in conjunction with traditional counselling and/or a medical doctor. The healing aspect of watercolours is helpful for everyone, for example to release stress, tackle emotions like grief or anger, or explore something confusing that happened that day. It acts naturally as a form of self-healing by just practicing it. There’s also the art journal or art diary, and I would recommend looking into that practice if you wish to take this hobby to a more personal level.
3) Portability Factor (perfect when you’re on the move)
I like to carry my watercolour sketchbooks with me wherever I go, along with a portable paint set. That way, whenever I get the time and inclination to paint, it’s easily and quickly accessible. These can be pocket-sized or larger, to fit in your handbag or backpack.
Watercolours are very portable, suitable for any space whether it’s your office, a cafe, a park, or out in the countryside to paint landscapes.
4) Affordability of Materials (less pressure in making a start)
Watercolours are an affordable hobby. If you want to set yourself up with the basic materials, all that you will need to start are: student-grade paint-set; some flat and pointed brushes; hot-pressed or cold-pressed paper; a bound sketchbook (available in various sizes); a palette or set of shallow bowls; a rag cloth and/or paper towels for drying brushes and mopping up paint; and a container or two for water.
To paint on the go or out of doors, all you need is a travel paint set with one brush and a built-in palette; a watercolour sketchbook; rag cloth and small water container with lid.
I have developed my skills quite a bit over the years by just setting aside a little time in my day or week, learning through weekly classes and one-off workshops, as well as through books, blog posts, videos, that I’ve taken on the side.
It is a really worthwhile hobby and I hope you will consider trying out watercolours for yourself and see where it takes you. Let me know how it goes in the comments below or via the contact form!